What? MAGIKARP is evolving!

MAGIKARP evolved into IVYSAUR!

Huhh.

A glitch.

Ohhhh

That always confused me.

Well thank me then.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

Oh Mario, what is wrong with you?

I'm sure you've all seen the adverts for that new game where Mario and Sonic are in the Olympics. And I'm sure you've heard of Mario's football game, baseball game, racing games, dancing games, and games where you have to run around and jump on things and fight people. Fair enough to say, Mario has had his fair share of sports in his never-aging time. Also he his constantly on a diet of Mushrooms and stars, so Mario is pretty healthy.
So why, then, has Mario got a bulge in his stomach?

Im sure you can all see it. That little circle protruding out between his legs. Why, Nintendo, why?

I got in touch with Dr. Fungustein, Mario's official health consultant.

"Mario," The doctor commented, "Has a rare condition. It's called"being fictional". For some reason, the instant you become fictional, the artists/writers NEVER change you. For example, look at the simpsons. They wear the same clothes EVERY DAY! And Yoshi. Having been to all these exotic locations such as Isle Delfino, surely that green would have been tanned turquoise by now? Fictional characters are, unfortunately, never going to change. That's why Nintendo have to keep Mario doing all of these sports. So that being pudgy dosen't go to his head. It's for his self-esteem. Mario has regualrly turned to drink and drugs after a depression crisis about his complexion. If it happens again, we could be seing the last of Mario."

So, is Mario destined to stay the same forever? He has changed slightly in different games.

"That's the thing." Fungustein admitted, "It's a very rare condition in the fact that it can change irregularly at random times, depending on the writers' moods. Unless Nintendo do something, Mario will never feel good about himself."

So therefore, Mario's health is completely in the hands of Nintendo! Well this reporter is going straight to Nintendo to complain!!! I shall forward you the reply I get.

~E.G~

Dog Dog Dog

Dogs eat postmen... Well, in a fictional sense they do anyway. Just like people in Star Wars hit each other with lightsabers and people in James Bond shoot each other. So i decided that if it is o.k for people to make modes which you have to set up yourself on Smash Bros like beamswords for Star Wars mode and ray guns for James Bond mode, then it is o.k for me to make Dog Dog Dog mode isn't it. The rules of Dog Dog Dog are very simple, it simply involves three Bowsers and one peach (in her Daisy costume) to play Smash Bros on Brinstar Depths stage. No items on the dogs (bowsers) get a point for each postman (Daisy) ko and lose a point for each dog ko. Highest score wins. Meanwhile the plot sorrounding the adventure is even simpler. A letter has been posted to Kraid but the postman is attacked the end. I wasn't entirely serious when I created Dog Dog Dog but I have a strange feeling it will make me rich one day.

Electric lights in a fluid sky...

Now, this post makes a change from our usually Nintendo-themed blog. The game I'm going to write about is a PC game - a free one - but it is very pretty and addictive, so I thought I'd throw it in here.

The backstory of this game is a vaguely uninteresting one, but I will include it anyway, just in case. Basically, I got a del.icio.us account. A while back. If you want to know when, there's a post aboput on my other, dead, blog. But anyway.

Then I discovered the magic that is del.icio.us/popular, and I check it regularly now. And today, I found this. Now, as a Windows User and a Windows Disliker, I thought 'Hm. If I switch to Ubuntu,' which I wanted to do, already having gotten hold of the live CD, 'What games can I play?'

Number 2. That's right, a Geometry Wars clone [I think, I've never played Geometry Wars]. But, to be honest, it's free.

And beautiful. Pictures don't do it justice. When you're whizzing through space firing yellow bullets at mulitcoloured baddies, with awesome kinda neon effects, and sparks flying everywhere at the touch of a button, it feels, to paraphrase the late great Douglas Adams, like having your eyes smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped a large gold brick.

The motion is lovely as well, I play with the keyboard ¬.¬ but it still looks great.

The music is ok, not bad enough to affect my opinion of the game, not good enough to, well, affect my opinion of the game - and it's a generally really good play. You start off rubbish, but then you get used to the game. And occasionally, I've even found myself staring somewhere else on the screen while my ship careered between enemies... but those were flukes.

It's fun. Play it. NOW.

And Geometry Wars /is/ coming out on the Wii and DS. so be ready...

~d~, off to blast more vector enemies to neon hell.

The Society for the Protection Of Yoshis. (Or, SPOY)

Hey there my friends! What are you doing this blog, hmm? Hoping to read a bit of humor, coupled with a bit of random info about games (hence, WeWriteAboutGames)? Well, for whatever reason, it wasn't to start a campaign for Yoshis was it?

Well now it can be!

Does NOONE feel sorry for Yoshi? Hmm? Let me make a list:

1) Super Mario Sunshine. The entire Yoshi race are obligatory under MArios control, for NO REASON over than he gives them fruit.

2) Super Smash Bros Melee. In one level there is a giant Yoshi- and THREE characters have to kick its ass. Is that not sizest and animal cruelty at the SAME TIME?

3) Snakes treatment of Yoshi- (glitchy video)


4) Using Yoshi as a lackey- (look)



27) Why, nintendo, did you make Yoshi sound so mentally reatrded?



And there you go. 27 reasons to fight for Yoshi rights.

Join the Spoy!

A Newcomer

I would say that our chances of failure have now been reduced to 12.98765854746736475847346353446574649860000899788577354233243454565768798086765542323134326674%.
I know it to such a precise level because Bowser's super computer really is super. We have at least 3 squadrons (2 chain-chomps, 30 goombas, 10 koopa-paratroopas, 20 koopas, 5 boo, a monty mole, 5 magikoopas, a lakitu, 6 hammer bro teams and a koopatrol -commander-) in every square km of the Mushroom Kingdom. So unless the rouges travelled very fast, they wont evade us. The only reason we post here is to scare them... but I think that all the minions they see will do that jod anyway, but I wont disobey Bowser's orders.

~P~

P.S The necomer is Sjohp (coded)

Still in hiding... and still scared

Phew... finally got a laptop! And ~P~? This isn't a BowserBrowser, so no tracing possible - in fact this was lent to me by someone who is a computer whiz, like me, and his name is [fdkfnb kjhbv;ymlab ouch. Sorry, Ringo just pushed me. He said I can't reveal the identity of the person who lent us this laptop. Those who know him will understand what I'm on about - he's a really good person, though, so let's leave it at that.

In other news, Ringo has been looking for a place where we can lie low for a while. He's got his eye on a nice place, where we won't be suspected, but we're going to have to move there quickly. Otherwise, Bowser, or one of his minions will find us.

And to answer your biggest question, reader, yes, we think we know who invited the dry-bones, we know who is the traitor here, and he is ilebhpqprqobneobhj;.mbq;hqbg;bbq OUCH. That hurt ¬.¬ Apparently I have to keep silent until we put our plan into action - but I've said too much. Loyal readers who want to find the identity of the traitor... I've helped you out a bit. All Bowser's minions are too idiotic to break this incredible code, so I think I could possibly give you a clue, some kind of hint... hm. Perhaps not. Just read it through again.

/quit Jerry

'cheatoblueeggs'

Crikey! This blog is collecting dust now... So I decided to post about Mario Galaxy as it seemed the right time. But then I Changed my mind. So here is my post topic... Banjo-Kazooie, the best game ever. The first of an excellent series in which you got to play as a bear, a bird and shaman + others. What can be better then that? And it even had a monkey. However, the shaman+ others will have to be ignored for this post as it's about the game, not the sereies.

What other game contains cheats such as 'red feathers' and 'blue eggs', it simply cannot be beat in terms of everythingnes. Another thing about this game which deserves to be described as 'superlative' is the main villain: Gruntilda Winkybunion. Great name, great speech and great strategy to defeat her, take advantage of the invincibility frames you get after ground pounds to avoid damage from the homing attack. This saves gold feathers.

Anyway, I will soon depart from this triumphant scene so I'm letting you know in advance. However, I need to give you some advice about this game: don't go onto Google, or whatever search engine you use, and type in 'Banjo Kazooie Note Door Cheats' because after you go to the sandcastle and type in all the cheats for them you'll realise that there isn't one for the last door... Unless you find someone's website who has greater skill then me and has found one, the I'll be mad.

~E~

A Wii writes a blog about... itself.

This may be a tad ironic coming from a Wii, but I hate Nintendo. I'm not joking.
They called me Wii. I mean, come on. Surely they should have checked that it did not mean a bodily function in english. The game cube bullies me. Every day. I always have a comeback for him- at least I'm not square.
Then the PS2 says that that is not true, because he's a cube. The PS2 is a nerd. I hate him. So I told it. It started to cry.

And by now the DVD player has heard and is joining in, the little sneak, backing up insults. Or maybe that's just because is eject button is broken. I don't know.
So we all swap insults for about ten minutes, until the HD TV gets invlolved.

It shouts at us. It tells us how childish we are. The it tells us the news. Oh wait, that's just ITV.

So we just ignore him and get into a big row.

Then they bought a PS3.

They brought it through in a big box. They had obviously paid a lot for it, as they were all in rags. Ha ha.

They set it up, and played for a bit. The PS3 people came round to get the car that covered half of the price.

"So how do we get the money to pay for the rest of it?"
"Let's sell the PS2!"
"And the gamecube. We don't play that anymore."

I heard the PS2 and Gamecube sob a bit, and then they were picked up and taken away.
So, everything is alright at the moment. The DVD player is still broken, and the PS3 isn't very chatty, but I get by.

I just hope Nintendo don't release a Nintendo Puu, or I could be going soon...
~W~
(emailed to ~ElGenius~)

[...o...k... is this post insulting the wii, ps3, ps2, dvd player, hd tv... i'm confused. Does this post have a point.

I'm going to have to say though, there are some awesome quotes here. /me gives ~elgenius~ a cookie.]

MUTINY!!!

Hoohaha cackle cackle. With the other 2 blog-leaders gone, I wont go into details about the Lakitu (hehehe). I have now appointed myself as the leader, and no-one can stop me with Bowser's backing. Who am I? You say. Well I'm afraid to say that I can't tell you but I started off living in Bianco Hills but was bested by Mario twice. Then I moved on to social activities like golf and racing. After a while I rejoined the Koopa Troop but was eventually bested by the Mario Bros in a very cold place.

Anyway, I will use this blog to work out where Jerry and Ringo have gone (they escaped while Kamek was supposed to watch them after we found and imprisoned them), I don't know how yet but I can use a remote trace to their laptop as I know they continuously try to hack in with a "Bowser Laptop". So I'll bring them down. They'll be crying by tomorrow. AHAHAHAHAHAHA...


~P~ (Can't use real name)