The post-christmas-post.

There were two presents left. One was a box. The other was another box.

One of them was big and chunky. It didn't rattle. It didn't sound like a plastic box when you tapped it.

Whereas the other was small, thin and plastic. It was a game box.

I decided to leave the game till last. I knew what it would be, and it would make all that practicing, all that hoping, and all that ROCKING worthwhile...

I opened the first.

It was Links Crossbow Training, complete with the awesome new Wii Zapper!

Dude, the only thing you need to know about this game is that you badly,badly need it.

But of course, you'll want to know why.

Not only does the Wii Zapper look cool, it handles really well. Learn to use it correctly, and you'll find yourself getting x24 combos, and the satisfying sound of an arrow striking one of those flying things and it screaming a mighty "AAAARROOOOOOOAOAAAAAOAOWWWAOOAOAORRRRRR!" before hitting the ground and poofing into red sparks.

Set in the graphically stunning world of Twilight Princess, Crossbow Training is a series of levels, split down into three challenges. These challenges could include Target practice, Ambushes, or anything. But best are the shootouts (the first one is pictured). In these, not only do you aim at the screen and crush the trigger in order to kill some bad guys, but you use the control stick to move about. You aim the cursor at the edge of the screen to twist your (graphically produced) head. The aim is to kill as many of a certain enemy as possible. Luckily, this includes the goblins with flaming arrows, so I got some revenge for them killing me a load of times when I was a helpless wolf in Twilight Princess... but that's another story.

Here's some tips for when you get this game. And yes, you WILL get this game.

1. Positioning.

It may take a while for you to get used to the Wii Zapper, but when you do, you need to make sure you've put yourself into the right position. There isn't really a RIGHT position, but make sure that you have your arms in a comfortable position. Try and rest them on something, maybe your thighs, to make sure you can pivot your forearms round, rather than frantically waving your arms and aiming off the screen.

2. Bonuses.

The more consecutive hits you get without missing, the more of a bonus you will get on hits. Make sure you are cautious in hitting things first time, if you find yourself not getting the target score.

3. Bonuses and bonus points. (And no, there isn't any difference.)

In some levels, like the Goron target game, you will have to wait for a minute until targets show themselves. In these occasions, you will probably find some pots or a scarecrow randomly placed there. Shoot them. Shoot them ALL! And when you shoot some of them, a gold... thing will pop out. Shoot that! It gives you more points than any targets or pots will.

4. DON'T SHOOT THE CHICKEN.

5. AGAIN- DON'T SHOOT THE CHICKEN!

Or any living thing without claws.

I opened the next present slowly. My fingers trembled as I carefully snapped the sellotape. I eventually just ripped it all open.

But you probably guessed that.

If you don't have this game, you need it.

If you don't have ANY guitar hero game, you need help. Or you need to stop listening to 50 f***ing cent. Seriously.

It has all new songs, graphics,, lip-sycing, drum-syncing, and guitar hero battles. Which are awesome.

Three words-

I HATE SLASH!

Now, Guns N Roses made good music, but they were assholes, plus the fact that it took me ages to complete his guitar battle today.

Anyway, I have to wrap this up. I've got tons of other xmas games to talk about, but I have to go play guitar hero at my friends.

Cya,

~E.G~

GET GUITAR HERO

BOYCOT 50 CENT

Merry Christmas - A Cake Recipe for You

One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix. One can prepared coconut pecan frosting. Three slash four cup vegetable oil. Four large eggs. One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips. Three slash four cups butter or margarine. One and two third cups granulated sugar. Two cups all purpose flour. Don't forget garnishes such as: Fish shaped crackers. Fish shaped candies. Fish shaped solid waste. Fish shaped dirt. Fish shaped ethyl benzene. Pull and peel licorice. Fish shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment shaped sediment. Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish. One cup lemon juice. Alpha resins. Unsaturated polyester resins. Fiberglass surface resins. And volatile malted milk impoundments. Nine large egg yolks. Twelve medium geosynthetic membranes. One cup granulated sugar. An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands.' Two cups rhubarb, sliced. Two slash three cups granulated rhubarb. One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb. One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb. Three tablespoons rhubarb, on fire. One large rhubarb. One cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb. Two tablespoons rhubarb juice. Adjustable aluminum head positioner. Slaughter electric needle injector. Cordless electric needle injector. Injector needle driver. Injector needle gun. Cranial caps. And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals. That will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.

~d~

A Brief Guide To Guitar Hero

As Christmas approaches, the one thing that I really want to get is another Wii Guitar peripheral. I have a friend that lives just down the road and he's good at GH, and he comes round often to play with/against me. It's logical that I would want another guitar.

And I'm sitting here listening to songs of the first game and wondering what to put in my guide. Keep in mind that I haven't planned this so they won't be in order.

1. - HOPOs, or Hammer Ons and Pull Offs [try saying that 5 times quickly!]

It's surprising that such a little thing could make such a difference, but it actually halves the amount of effort you have to put in at some points of the song. Picture this - you're having to concentrate on a huge solo with 4million notes per second, bit you also have to strum each one. You'd lose, and pretty damn quickly.
But think about it this way. You're having to do the same solo, but you don't have to strum. As long as you can move your fingers fast enough, you can survive it.

That's why HOPOs are so important - they do just this. As long as you hit the previous note, you can hit the next one - so one important bit about HOPO strings are making sure you hit it all, or you're at least ready to strum again should you miss a note. A good song for practicing this is The Metal, imo, although correct me if I'm wrong.

Of course, if you're a showoff, you can stick your strum hand in the air for long HOPO strings like in the end of Laid to Rest [although that one hurts].



2. - Playing through a lot of different songs on one day

I'll explain this one, because it may not make sense. My usual GH habits are that I get on to the game, and play through songs that I like [most of them, thank goodness], and I never play through the same song twice. Apart from Cliffs of Dover, my signature song.

If you do this, you not only get used to the songs and the note charts, you also get used to different techniques, and you generally get to like the songs more. Before I got GHII, I disliked metal. When I got GHIII, I disliked all but about 2 of the songs. Now I love them all.

If you continue this every day, you'll
get better at the songs, because you'll actually enjoy them, as well as practicing them.



3. - Get Hold Of The Songs, and put them on your iPod

This is an extension of 2. in that you do it so that you get used to the songs ever when you aren't playing the game. I myself have an iTunes playlist full of GHI and II music for any times when I want some good rock/metal music, and when it starts playing, I always start, yes, Air-Guitar-Heroing to it. Even if you don't know the note chart, it still helps you get the gist of the song. Plus, I've never tried it but I suppose you can always get the Scorehero notecharts while you're sitting at your computer and practice like that.

And yes, I do get weird looks.



4. - Get a Signature Song

Mine is Cliffs of Dover. It is my song, the one I adore, it's just awesome. And you should get one too.

Yeah, I know I said that you should get diversity, but it's also good just to practice a few songs more than others. This, to me, used to be Talk Dirty To Me, Cliffs of Dover and Bulls on Parade. Now I'm better at those songs that others. It's obvious really.



5. Chord changes

I'll just briefly explain this one - if you can do chord changes, then you're at an advantage, because a lot of the songs include a lot of hard chord changes, especially Before I Forget. Therefore, get some practice in [required brackets so that I'm not ending a sentence with a preposition, I'm quite a grammar and spelling freak].



6. And Finally, Practice.

Practice mode is quite possibly the best thing that was added in GHII. Now you can play your favourite songs without failing miserably cough cough TTFAF cough cough. So use it, and use it often, and play once a day if you can. It might sound cliched, but practice makes perfect. And it does, because I've been playing for a year [well, if you count the time I've played GHI at other places, more, but that wasn't very often. I got a PS2 with GHI and II on Christmas 2006, so a 362 days as of this writing] and I'm on Expert, whereas I know people who haven't been laying as long, and obviously aren't as good as me, although I don't pride myself as being that good, after seeing Wulfe and Priest etc.

So, if you want to get good at Guitar Hero, throw yourself into the deep end - because you can't lose on practice mode. So if you're a Medium player, try a few songs on Hard or maybe Expert!

Trust me, eventually it'll click and you'll be able to play some awesome stuff.

That's all from me today, and considering my laziness, the next post will probably be after Christmas.

So have a Merry Christmas everybody - and game on!

The christmas rush.

Do you remember last christmas? Was there a particular thing that happened? Did you visit someone you don't see often? Did you have a great time? Did you get drunk off your head?
Or, like me, do you remember ripping open the wrapping paper to find a nintendo Wii? And if so, was that not the time you fell in love with gaming on the Wii? After poor sales of the GC, the Wii really brought Nintendo back to being the most popular competitor in this three-way-market. Profits for the Wii are still rising. Wiis are STILL in short supply, and people are demanding more than can be made. The release of the Wii last year brought us great new releases, such as Legend Of Zelda- Twilight Princess, Red Steel (which my dad has spent many an obsessive night over), the ground-breaking Wii Sports (which cleaned up at the golden joystick and gaming BAFTAs this year) and Wii play, to name a few I can immeadiatley think of.

And this year will be no different. Here's a list of games being released for the christmas rush:
Super Mario Galaxy * @
Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games * @
Lego Star Wars- The Complete Saga *
Guitar Hero 3 @
EA Playground !
Thrillville !
The Sims 2: Castaway
Spider-Man: Friend Or Foe !
Rockstar Table Tennis !
Rayman Raving Rabbids
Spyro: The Eternal Night
Tomb Raider Anniversary
The Simpsons Game
Zack + Wiki: Quest For Barbaros' Treasure

And those are just the ones I know about from my Nintendo Magazine! Here's the key for my annotations:
*- My brothers just got for their birthday.
@-Thoroughly recommend.
!- Avoid!!!

Now I could do any of those games for an online review. I could do 'em all right now. But instead I'm just going to focus on Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games. I wanted to do SPG, because of how AWESOME it is, but ~d~ already has.
So- anyway. MSOG.

Three words- Hard yet fun.

It is so HARD.

Yet fun.

...

Let me give you an example. When I first inserted the disc and clicked the start button, which makes that trademark G note by the way, I did the 100m run. When it says "Ready", on the screen, you have to hold B to build up power. Then on "Go", you have to release B and flick the remote to start running and unleash your power. Then you have to do the whole up-and-down-running-even-though-your-arms-do-not-go-up-and-down-when-you-usually-run thing with the nunchuk and Wiimote. The first time I treid it, I played as sonic, a speed character. And that makes sense. But i came 8th. Out of 8, by the way. Because it takes a lot more effort then you think! I had to shake so hard that the cable flew into my face... heres a tip. Little flicks up and down. Makes you go faster. Anyway, I changed to my Mii, and eventually won. Two other things I will also mention- Archery and Trampolining. We'll start with the good news- trampolining is great, and you have to press buttons and twist the wiimote to get tricks, and flick the wiimote to bounce. As for the archery... am I allowed to swear? Can I swear on blogs? Is that ok? Anyway, point made. Its rubbish. To put it lightly. At the start you have a heart monitor- the thing that goes beep for hospital patients. You have to press A when the small white dot is in the centre. (Correction, btw- this is shooting, not archery. Archery is unlocked later in the game.) And the closer to the middle you are, the bigger a crosshair you get. Could someone show me the point of it , please?
Here's another3of my favourite moments.
1. On the long jump and triple jump. When you are being introduced, you repeatedly bring the wiimote and nunchuk togther to clap and draw applause from the crowd. And they keep clapping while you jump. Hilarious.
2. The controls. Most of the games are with the wiimote and nunchuk- but all are optional for just using the wiimote. Is that not a great door of accesability for all players opened? But when I raced my dad, he had just the wiimote, I had both. He lost, because in effect he was just using one leg! Funny.
The games are also-again- hard yet fun. A good investment. Me gives this game a cookie!
~E.G~

R, Y, G, O, B, RB, RG, YG, BG, OR, OB, OG, GRYBO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Gotta love Guitar Hero II. Or any game in the GH series. And to be honest, it's highly likely that, unless EG sells his soul to the devil, I'm the best player here. On Guitar Hero III, I play Final Tier songs on Expert in public places. Well, song [cliffs of dover] but still... And the only reason I haven't posted (EG, non-ninty games are fine, but ninty is more... us) is because I'm lazy! Now to the actual game.

The original Guitar Hero was released in 2005/2006 depending which country you live in, and it was pretty much the first PS2 game I liked, and it changed my perception of the console altogether. Why would such an awesome game be released on a rubbish console - and only now do I admit that, yes, the PS2 is a console to have.

And Christmas 2006 was when my parents got me a ps2, Guitar Hero, and Guitar Hero II. I bet it cost a chunk of money, and GHII was pretty much new at the time. I played those games, and I'm not kidding, every day. And after a while, I got to Expert level. The fun doesn't stop there.

With the release of Guitar Hero III : Legends of Rock on PC, PS2, PS3, 360 and Wii not long ago, I went out and spent a chunk of my money on the Wii version. To begin with, the songs were disappointing, but I got used to them. I'm rambling!

And with that I hastily conclude my post, not being able to focus my attention on one thing for more than about a minute...

EG? How long can you play GH for without injury? Picking slow songs generally gives you pretty much unlimited play, or at least enough that it won't really matter - but playing better songs like Thunderhorse, Six, Jordan [I'm sorry, is ANYONE able to Exp-complete Jordan? Well, obviously PriestMLH and Wulfe, but anyone else? And there's no hope of an FC...], Hangar 18 [with all of it's 9 solos], and strum-fests such as Stop! and Misirlou gives you about 10 minutes :D

Plus, people who wish to play Freebird, and do well, better not want to play any songs after that, because it KILLS. It's like TTFAF, only... erm, actually TTFAF hurts more. But Freebird still kills. And it's 10 minutes long >.>

The game case should say "Warning : Anyone attempting to play Yes We Can should have their ears smashed out with a huge hammer covered in beef. Because that's what it feels like to listen to it." Seriously. I don't think I have ever completed that song.

And yes, I love Red Lottery. Insult me now.

Is that enough? Apologies for massive post. I love this game. Possibly expect more.

~d~

PS. Devil in a Midnight Mass and Fallen Leaves by Billy Talent, plus Joker and the Thief by Wolfmother, should be on the next game!

Guitar Hero 2- how long can you play it for without injury?

Hi. ~d~ told me to stick to Ninty games, and I said fine.
But why has no-one done a post about GH2 yet? ~d~ practically plays it like a musical instrument!
Here's where I stand. I have just completed it on medium and got 3 stars on the first song on hard. I am working towards 5 stars on all easy songs, and being comfortable with hard-end medium songs. And frankley, I think that's where I'm going to stay. I mean, any normal human being can just about do medium. But for hard, you need an extra finger, a load of spare time from homework + stuff, and very leniant parents. The notes come at you at like, 500mph! HTH? (how the hell- Im hoping it will catch on.)
However, GH2 has such a good soundtrack, and is just so fun, it kinda makes up for it. I just bought the Grim Reaper on medium! But my favourite character is definitely Johnny Napalm- the nuclear punk!
Anyway, I don't have much more to say. Feel free to add your own bits about GH2- let's see who has got the furthest on WWAG!
~E.G~

Update on the insanity of Excite Truck

Okay, so we already know that Excite Truck is a great-yet insane- game.
(If you don't look on the past posts for something like "The most Insane game of all time")
But I was playing it the other day, trying to compensate for the fact that I do not have SMG (curse you...curse who? Curse Sweeden. It is Sweeden'a fault I haven't got Galaxy), when went onto challenge mode.

This is a section with three types of challenges.
Gate, ring and Crush.
In gate you have to complete a course, all the time being between the gates.
In ring you have to get enough points, entitely from rings.
And crush... that's the one I need to talk to you about.

There are 5 trucks apart from you on the course. In the time limit, you have to smash every single one of them, as hard as you can. You get bonus points for crushing them GOOD.

I was tapping the turbo button throughout the whole thing, skidding, sliding, cursing. I kept overshooting the trucks I was chasing. I had to do 18o degree turns in the time of seconds.

And you can go over the WHOLE THING, not just on the track. It's insane... but I think we've already established that.

Also, don't talk to me about the China track. I finally managed to get a turbo jump, and then I slammed into the great wall of China.

>expletive<
...
No reply from Nintendo. If other people could support me in also emailing the mighty Ninty, it would be appreciated.
so... see ya.
~E.G~
P.s: (if there is such thing on the internet), I am not putting ANY TAGS ON ANYMORE, until Dan explains to me what I should actually put. So good luck in finding this on a search engine. No hard feelings ~d~!

[~d~ says: tags are for explaining what a post is about. Generally, you should use tags already made, or, if no existing tags... erm... exist... then you should make a new one. Ie, this post is not big 3, excite truck, wii etc.]

Burning through the sky, yeah, 200 degrees...

Sooner or later, it had to come to this. Super Mario Galaxy is out now, and has been for quite a while... and there have been no blog posts about it. ~E~ doesn't have it, and I'm not sure about EG but I do. Oh dear, it seems the blame is on me. Lazy me.

Seriously, this game is awesome. You don't realise it when you first get it, but it really is genius. I mean, the graphics are good, the gameplay is great, and the music is nice, but there is some underlying feel here... it won't work if you are the only one in a house or something, or the game is somewhere secluded, but when I had the TV in the lounge, I felt it's repercussions. Don't get me wrong, this isn't a /main/ part of the game, it's not featured in other reviews as a main point...

...but the 2 player mode is awesome. Player 2 doesn't really do much, collecting star bits and helping Mario with his jumps, freezing enemies - but it's pick up and play. Many a time my brother or sister has walked into the room and just picked up a wiimote. It just feels... right. Not to mention the fact that freezing Chomp Heads or Boulders so that they smash into each other gives you a load of starbits...

OK, so I may have gone a bit over the top on the two-player aspect of the game - but it's still an awesome game.

More to come.

~d~

And ~EG~ - Don't create one-time tags please, tags are for ease. If you do I have to delete the tags and it takes me ages.

THE MOST INSANE GAME OF ALL TIME

Excite Truck on the wii. It is fast, furious and crazy. You get to drive at speeds besting the seisure-provoking Sonic Rush, and after zooming of a REALLY steep ramp, you go at heights rival to aeroplanes. Especially the ones from Heathrow- they are just >expletive<. Okay, maybe I should explain. In as many words as possible. Or maybe you should just see a video first-
Pretty crazy, huh?

Basically/not basically, Excite truck is a game where you race in trucks, duh. They aren't monster trucks, but they aren't measly cars. They're... monster cars.
The trucks go fast as it is, but you also have the option to use turbo- of which you have an unlimited amount, but have to watch the temperature or you will overheat. You also have a item that you can pick up called "POW", starting a siren sound, making you do the whole Sonic Rush thing and smashing everything to pieces.

So, with that, with any track, you have insanity. Monster crucks zooming about at Mario-Knows-What speeds.

But it doesn't stop there! When you go in the air off a ramp or something, if you get a nice landing you get a POW styley boost. So it's not just a rare pickup.
You also get a boost for, when you crash, tapping the "2" button as hard as you can. So if you get smashed, get a boost, do a nice landing, and then get POW, you are moving at about the speed of light.

That's not the end of this world of craziness. There are also pickups that change the terrain. This might be plunging a section of track underwater, flattening a hill making a shortcut, or creating a ramp 'n' rings. This is making a bit of road into a ramp, and then creating rings at the end. You have to fly through the air and get through as many as possible. You get a star for each ring you go through.

Oh yeah, something I forgot to mention. In a race, you have to collect enough stars to go through to the next round. You get stars for drifting on corners, weaving between trees, getting rings, getting air, getting a good position at the end of the race- and smashing other trucks.

So if it isn't enough to be racing around like Sonic The Hedgehog on some kind of drug, weaving in between trees, changing the ground in chaotic ways, players are encouraged to smash each other up. Is it me, or is that just crazy?

And that's what makes it such a good game. It's crazy. It's fast. It's exciteing. It's EXCITE TRUCK.

The soundtrack is prett cool too. It's like the best band in the world doing music for a game. Which I suppose it is.
...
I haven't had a reply about Mario's weight yet- I have no idea why. Do they think it's silly or something?
I dunno.
~E.G~